Questions and Dissonance

Once again I’ve run into problems with my theological framework. This cycle is always fun.

I’ve been hanging around some very sensible, intelligent people who happen to not believe in any gods. More specifically, I’ve been hanging around one person in particular (remember my conversation partner from How the Hel? Yeah. We’re together now), and my mindset has been turned around again.

The longer I’m a practising Heathen, the more my godview tends toward a hard polytheistic one: gods are real entities existing in this world, with awareness and personalities and desires, who have relationships of all sorts with human beings because, I dunno, because they can.

A few years ago I would have gagged to think I could ever even consider this view.

But there it is. I’ve been edging inexorably in that direction, naturally, unintentionally, for quite some time. And then I meet this person who reminds me of what I used to think, and I feel a little blindsided by my own religion. Bam. Theological minefield.

I’ve never had the theological problems with Heathenry that I’ve always had with Christianity. Mostly because our gods are not purported to be omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibeneficient. I used to have a problem with the idea that gods could care about humans and have personal relationships with us, because hey, that’s fuckin’ crazy, but now that doesn’t even faze me, and I can’t remember why I thought that was problematic. That fact that this no longer bothers me is what bothers me. Was past me more sensible? Have I lost something? Am I deceiving myself so I can have this nice little fantasy in a box with a bow on top?


2 thoughts on “Questions and Dissonance

  1. mysticalchicken 9. October, 2014 / 01:31

    I remember once asking my mom when I was a kid, why God (the Christian one) never talked to people like he does in the bible (despite my growing up basically areligious/agnostic, my mom had a bible from her youth that I read parts of occasionally. I rather liked Proverbs and I always loved Revelation). I don’t remember her answer, if she had one. AFAIK, the Christian god has never spoken to or tried to speak to me, or if he has, I can’t hear him, and have no “connection” with him. Technically I can’t hear Loki either, but since he can spell things out to me, that’s not really a problem. But being able to communicate with Loki is–not really all that astonishing to me? I’m not even sure if it SHOULD be. (I mean just the fact that I CAN communicate with him, not necessarily what he actually says/spells to me, which CAN surprise me a lot of the time) It’s literally like “Oh, I can communicate with a deity? Oh okay then.” Uh… I’m pretty sure I had a point but I’ve forgotten it :p

    • Katla Hrútsvinr 9. October, 2014 / 12:41

      You’ve had some really clear experiences, then, with Loki, that indicate that’s he’s him, he’s his own being, if that makes sense. As opposed to an “archetype” or a metaphor or something. (I do like to read your posts and conversations with him; they make me feel happy more often than not.) I haven’t had any experiences quite so concrete, so I guess I’m less sure about my own gods. Something’s holding me back from just doing and believing and I think it’s my upbringing :/

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